WHERE I GO

A genuine person can be false sometimes. A false person can be genuine. Some of me is real, some not, and always a live, spiritual pursuit. I think the most childlike prayer when we see ourselves act, or see ourselves see, is to ask to be made new. This is not the same as self-loathing; it is a true cry to be redeemed, restored to factory settings, to what was intended for, in and through me.
 
The difference we yearn for, for example, is between true innocence and naiveté; or true confidence and fear; true peace and denial... What we often settle for, however, and strive in, is to 'fake it till we make it.' We put on a facade in the hopes it will become a real face.
 
As time goes on I feel like I'm thawing out or firming up, or both, or neither: becoming real by degrees and half degrees. Standing on Spirit, building on Word (Heb 1:3), on the authority of blood and not reason (Rev 5:9; Heb 12:24). I see things I did not see before, like peace in a storm, or God's goodness in a ravished land (Mt 6;63; Jn14:27). The prophet Ezekiel speaks the promise of God to his weary people, 'I will put a new spirit in you, and give you a heart of flesh for your heart of stone.' (Ez 36:26).
 
'All things new', is the promise of Christ (Rev 21:5). The story of redemption and heaven is much like the story of life right here, right now: completely spiritual, miraculous, deep and beyond the mind of man.