Saunders coined, but Lennon famously said/sang, 'Life is what happens when you're making plans.' Even today I pondered what I would be remembered for, and this thought flashed through my little mind: Those who care about me most, will not remember me for who I think I am.
The truest you is in the spirit, emotions and actions of that child-like you. That unselfconscious, earnest, trusting and tender person that preceded the proud, self-aware and ambitious one. The person that connected to people and smiled unawares with people, before networking or money had worked its spirit into the soul. So who knows that true you? Who delights in that true you? That person will be doing the 'remembering' when you're gone. Two things of deep note: Jesus said unless we became like children we would not enter the kingdom of God. (Mt 18:3) That is a powerful, calibrating statement. That child trusts fully, delights in, follows... God. That was Jesus' point. Are you, like a child, in the courts and kingdom of God? Secondly, God is eternal, and he breathed us forth in his own image. (Gen 1:27) He set this 'eternity' in our hearts with intention. (Eccl 3:11) We are called to set our eyes back on him, and in Christ to come after him. Jesus said we would find life by losing it to him. (Mk 8:34-38) 'Being' - or true self - is what happens when we seek God.
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To 'know thyself' (nosce teipsum) is, at least, something we can try for... After all, you are the subject and the object of this endeavor. You can think about you all day, every day, till you cease thinking and being...
And just when you think you know you, the sun sets and rises and there's a new you that you never knew, 'cause today's 'you' could not have been factored in yesterday... We don't seem to take the same path with 'love', however. We do not strive to find and hold and keep our true 'lovableness'. What we do is find and fall into the eyes of a Lover. In finding love, in being loved by Another, we believe ourselves to be 'lovable'. So to borrow from Socrates, we might ask: 'Is he loved because he is lovable, or is he lovable because he is loved?' (cf Eutyphro) Well, anyone who has been loved or has loved, would not subject its truth to our comprehension of it. We live it, and breathe it, and lament the tragedy of any man, woman or child who loses it to questioning... Throughout Scripture, from Genesis to Revelation, God calls us to know him and to love him. In this pursuit of God, we come to know true love, and know our true self. Much like love, however, the more you know it in truth, the less words you will ever wrap around its definition and scope. This is the same for your own true self. The more you know God, the deeper you will know yourself, and the less you will strive to define who that is. The only problem with demanding the right to know and choose anything and everything, is we get the right to know and choose anything and everything.
Most of what I know, I now wish I did not know - which is simply the facts of what I or others have chosen to do. So it is not that I don't want to know, but that I wish certain things were never done, 'unknowable' to anyone, as it were... But that would restrict my rights! So what we have, is what we want, is what we've done, is what now fills our minds, hearts and soul. Two thoughts on this: First, God told mankind to not eat of the 'tree of knowledge'. He said we would die. The serpent, however, told us that knowing all and choosing ourselves, would make us 'like god.' Who can resist such a promise? They could not, Nietzsche could not*, Jesus was tempted to, and we succumb every day. (Genesis 3:5; Matthew 4:9) Secondly, Paul writes: 'They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator... Because of this, God gave them over...' (Romans 1:25-26) *'If there were gods, how could I endure not to be a god? Therefore, there are no gods!' (F.Nietzsche, 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra', 1885) You got money, or does money got you? You got fame, or does fame got you? You got intelligence... social life... career... religion... or do they got you? You got doubts, or do doubts got you? Etc etc.
What you 'got' in this life, must be small enough for you to 'get', and that's pretty small. 'God, in his wisdom, made it so that man in his wisdom, would not find God.' (1 Corinthians 1:21) If God were such that he fit your mind and even heart and soul, and your 'take' on history and justice and love... He wouldn't fit anyone else's... We fit in God, not God in us. We come forth from his image, not he from ours. And there is a place in and through Jesus Christ where the devil does not want you free, so he holds you back with what you've done and what you know. He wants you desperately to subject God to 'yourself', and so hold you in that small sphere. (Rev 12:10) Same with your own 'heart' and pride. Your heart also wants the 'hold' on God, so will 'condemn you', when God says you're free. (1 John 3:20) Beyond the devil's accusation, and beyond your own heart's condemnation, there's a 'faith space', where God calls you to into unfathomable, eternal freedom. Thinking about my career today, what it is I am aiming for, and why. When I really break it down, I'm looking for less pressure (peace?), more security (safety?), and greater responsibility (purpose?). I'm looking for that perfect career that makes life worth living.
It is possible to ask a question to someone who cannot answer it. It is possible to seek fulfillment and meaning in places, that cannot provide it. One proverb that I find most challenging, even disconcerting, says, 'If we seek faith, love and righteousness, we find life, prosperity and honor.' (Proverbs 21:21) Most of us seek 'life, prosperity and honor' (the 'American Dream'?), but never find it when we seek it. God, through his Word, is saying that 'life, prosperity and honor' - the real ones - are in the wake of pursuing 'faith, love and righteousness.' I know what the world should do, just not what I should do. I know how and why countries should be at peace, just can't make peace with my own neighbor. I know what you should think about all religions, without knowing what I think about any particular religion...
I find it interesting - shrewd and fascinating - that Jesus asked the disciples what others were saying about him. They knew, and they told him - everything ranging from a promised prophet to a reincarnated prophet. He then asked them, 'But who do you say that I am?' (Matthew 16:15) She was studying journalism, Trinity College Dublin, 1996. Killing time at the launderette we talked... She shared her views on God and spirituality, had decided that we're all branches of the same tree. A popular view. All gods the same god, effectively, and everyone's right, so to speak.
We then discussed this one 'scenario': What if - just what if - only one of these 'gods' was true, and all others false. We considered the implications of this a little further. What if this 'true' god, claimed to be the 'only true God', and called mankind not only to believe and live this, but to make it known to others; to not accept or condone other 'false gods'. What if this 'true God', brought with him all the treasures of truth and eternal life, but called us to lay down our lives to have and hold this treasure... If the one true God could be known, at this cost, 'Would you want to know?' She said, 'No.' 'Jesus said, 'I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' (John 14:6) Jesus was only secondarily a humanitarian and socialist. Primarily, he was a God-itarian, and Kingdom-of-Godist.
For this reason, despite the many sorrows of society that surrounded Jesus - which did move him to compassion (Matthew 9:36) - when asked what was most important, he said, 'To love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.' That's a lot of love, time and effort - for God. Then what is left, spills out and over, we are called to give to each other. Jesus went on to say, the second-most important command is to 'love your neighbor.' (Matthew 22:26-30) God's 'house of prayer' made a 'market' is what drove Jesus to make a whip and wreak havoc in the temple. (John 2:14-16) What moves you more - your 401K or Slavery in America today? Racism or Republicanism? Your nation, or God's creation? Your friendships, or God's souls? What do you pray for (or worry about) more? Jesus put it this way, 'Where your treasure is, there your heart will be.' (Matthew 6:21) Come back to God. Put him first. (Joel 2:13) When we come to and through the door that is Jesus (John 10:9), he will pour 'living waters' to and through and from you. (John 7:37-38) These waters - his waters for his kingdom - we let spill out and over others. Blind Sighted: Having eyes that see, but not seeing.
I've ruined many a memory-maker by trying to make the memory instead of the moment. I've lost the present regretting the past, etc. Wish you could go back in time and 'see' some people or situations differently? Wish you knew then what you know now - about life, love, true treasure - and bring that 'sight' back to the moment? What is true seeing? Many a blind man sees. Many a seeing man is truly blind. Perhaps the most dramatic example in history of the 'blind sighted' - second only to myself - is when Jesus said to Pilate, 'Everyone on the side of truth listens to me', and Pilate said back, 'What is truth?' (John 18:37-38). Jesus said, 'The eyes are the lamp of the body. If the eyes are good, the whole body is full of light...' (Matthew 6:23) Jesus also said, 'I am the light the world. He who follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.' (John 8:12) What do you do, with what you know is true? Now truth, as you know, is not 'fact', but spirit. For example, 'Great shot, buddy!' - is the true statement about a child's bad shot.
What do you do - or have you done - with the deep, 'truer truths' that have come your way? Those ‘truths’ that you need, you crave, you seek, you even demand - but then don't accept? You know what I mean here, at least the sphere. That's why an individual - not you, of course - has already come to mind. So yes, we're talking about that deep, challenging area of the soul that has been hurt somewhere, by someone, and now pivots on brokenness. I marvel at the strength I see in people getting on - even if they don't get up - after such hurt. But let me speak to this war zone of the soul for just a few lines. God speaks through a prophet 600 years before Jesus appeared, and says, 'I have engraved your name on the palm of my hand.' (Isaiah 49:16) Then after Jesus came, lived, loved, died, rose again, it is written, 'He has purchased men with his blood.' (Revelation 5:9) You are deeply loved, and Jesus said time and time again that in him, through him, we enter new life, now and forevermore. |
AuthorPeter Walker. I hope you enjoy these reflections. Please feel free to comment!:) Archives
February 2024
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