WHAT IS?

When finally pouring out a confession on Sonia, Rodya recounts 4 or 5 plausible motives for his crime. ('Crime and Punishment', Dostoyevsky, 1865) He agonizes as his own true motive evades him. His own self, as it were, eludes him. He seeks but does not find.
 
The deepest pursuit, the one which requires most calm, most quiet, is our pursuit within, searching for self, not adventure. We break into the quiet and dark hours of dawn to find a path for the day.
 
What was yesterday, exactly? What was that relationship? Was it love? Do I know what love is? What self is satisfied in this aspiration? Is this footing really a footing? Where's the floor? When I feel safe, what wall marks safety for me? When I forget tragedy and all is good, is tragedy forgotten, or are those people just forgotten by me? Am I asking the right questions? Am I understanding the issues? Are my motives in asking sufficient to acquit me of the cosmic confusions, the global travesties, the blood on my hands - or on his hands - that I ignore?
 
'It's a long way down to nothing at all.' ('Stuck in a
Moment', U2) It is against the backdrop of being - of not being - that a bedrock of 'spirit being' rings true. God told Moses, as a first floor for His own identity, to give the people this His name: 'I Am.’ (Ex 3:14) Jesus claimed this name (John 10:30; 18:37), and said that he would pour this name in Spirit form through the core of all who believe on him. (John 1:12; 5:24)